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Diana Vilic

Blogger Visual Marketing Student Photographer Coffee Addict

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Fake it til you make it: Confidence

  • 1:00:00 AM
  • by
Hey Lovelies!
Once again I've been thinking a lot about confidence. Especially since the #DontJudgeMeChallenge is going around. Seeing all of those videos reminded me of lessons I learned about confidence over the years.

Before I get to those lessons, it's important I address what confidence is, because in society it can occasionally become a blurred definition. Confidence is not being okay with yourself 100% of the time. No one, is okay with who they are all the time. We all have flaws and insecurities that feel like they're taking over our lives at times. Confidence is knowing you are more than those insecurities, even if they feel like they might takeover.

Things to remember about confidence:

  1. Confidence is not like a light switch, where it's on or off, but rather more of an avalanche, starts off small and as it gets rolling it gets bigger and bigger.
  2. You can be insecure but still be confident. We all have insecurities, even the people we perceive as "perfect", have insecurities. 
  3. It's okay to have setbacks. Gaining confidence is a lot like a roller-coaster, it has its ups and downs. Just because you're at a low point currently, doesn't mean it will stay that way.
  4. Whatever you're feeling is valid. People often tell us to be more positive, or to be happy, but what you feel at any given moment is what you feel. You don't need to apologize for it.
  5. I say this a lot, but even your worst days are only 24 hours long.
  6. Make a list of everything you love about yourself. It can be appearances, personalty, friends and family. Pretty much you can list anything that involves you in any way. Keep this near you at all times. Remember you can always add to it, but never take things off.
  7. Fake it til you make it. Even if you don't feel the most confident, act like it. Walk into a room and command it. Eventually, being confident will be effortless, until then, pretend it is.
  8. Powerdress! My absolutely favorite tip. Dress in any manner that makes you feel powerful. For me, it's high heels and skinny jeans. For you, it may be red lipstick or curly hair, or a necklace passed down by your grandmother. Wear your armor, whatever it may be.
  9. Get rid of people who drag you down. Not everyone who drags us down is "evil", but they keep us from living the life we need to live. Omit them.
  10. Don't be ashamed of yourself. It's easier said than done, but don't be ashamed of your interests, looks or anything that makes you smile. They're yours, nothing is wrong with them.
  11. Laugh at yourself. If you take yourself too seriously, you might have a harder time feeling light about yourself. It's okay to be embarrassed, you are not a walking embarrassment. Just laugh it off.
  12. Know it's in your mind. The mind is a powerful thing. It notices things about ourselves that others may not. You may have had someone point out a feature of yours in a bad light in the past. It doesn't mean everyone who will ever see you notices that, even thought it feels like it.
  13. Reason. When people are mean to us, especially if we're children, we don't know why they're always mean. But we know they are. A lot of times, we blame ourselves for that behavior. 
  14. Don't apologize for how you survive. I'm always careful on how I say this. I'm not condoning hurtful or destructive behavior. But, I am saying don't beat yourself up because of how you chose to cope. You did what you did to feel like you could survive, take the steps to get help or stop any reckless or hurtful behavior, but do not feel like you are weak because you resorted to coping mechanisms. 
  15. We were made to survive. If you think about everything humans have gone through, your problems may seem small. I'm not saying this to make you feel like your problems are insignificant, because they are not. But know that your species has survived so much, and has thrived in so many ways, even in just the past few years, you will survive. After all, you were built to withstand so much.
  16. Take a look at what people say about you, listen to the kind things people say about you. These are absolute truths. Well, mean comments are typically people trying to bring you down so they feel tall.
  17. You can be confident but still have days where old insecurities creep up on you. The mind is a powerful thing.
  18. Smile. I say it all the time, but smiling makes people perceive you as confident and you feel better too.
  19. Stay close to those who love you. They will do anything for you. Even if it feels like they're in your face, they care.
  20. Do what you love. Consume yourself in things you love, that make a spark in you, and make you feel happy. 
  21. Realize not everything is how you perceive it. Nothing is like Instagram, Facebook or YouTube. Even the cool kids around you have their own insecurities and problems. Just because people don't display their problems, doesn't mean they don't exist.
  22. Find a favorite color. Wear it everyday.
  23. Collect things that make you happy. 
  24. Allow people to take photographs of you, even if you're not big on them. You will regret not having photos of yourself as you get older. Don't make that mistake.
  25. Go to stores where you can't afford the clothes, and try them on. It'll make you feel like a trillion bucks.
  26. Have your go-to. Find something that makes you happy, a favorite food, drink, funny video online, and use it when you need a pick me up.
  27. Be kind to people. You get out what you put in.
  28. Get out of your comfort zone. Being insecure or lacking confidence, has a way of making you feel like you're not good at things or trying new things because you might embarrass yourself. Push yourself a bit, see where you go.
  29. Know you have value.
  30. Create a motto and live by it everyday.
  31. Know that you can change at any moment to reflect what you want to be.
  32. Know that you are more than your looks. You are more than your shell, you have so much more to offer the world. Pretty is nice, but be the whole package.
  33. Dress for yourself, never anyone else or to fit in.
  34. Would 10 year old you be proud? If the answer is no, start making the proper changes.
  35. Know that those who standout, change the world. Those who conform, don't do much.
  36. You may have quirks that you don't like, or features of your body you hate looking at, or things you regret in life. You can choose to address them or accept them. You can change features you don't like, you are not less of a person because you opt for that route.
  37. People may view your insecurities and fears as "silly", but know that they are not. They are real because they are yours. The only persons opinion on them that matters is yours.
  38. Ask yourself why you dislike something about yourself. You will notice most times, it's because someone told you to.

Marketing student with a focus in visual marketing with a addiction to coffee.

19 comments:

  1. It's all really very good and important and I loved number 7 - fake it till you make it! Yes, it;s the principle of smiling, too - researches say that if we smile, it's 50% guaranteed you will have better mood! It also applies to confidence! Really a great topic and post!
    DenisesPlanet.com

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  2. I loved reading this post! <3 I think that you said it all so perfectly!! I was thinking about how I usually feel like I'm confident but then I'm insecure and you're right, it's okay to be insecure but still be confident <3 Thanks for all of the great tips :)

    -Crystal
    http://crystallizeddaisies.blogspot.com

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  3. Great post :) I agree with all of these points, my favorite maybe being getting out of your comfort zone. Step by step, facing the things you fear, you'll realize most of them are bigger in your head than in reality.

    Have a great day!

    Alex - Funky Jungle

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  4. ah yes, the mind is a powerful thing. Love this post! x

    Sharon ∞ eight shores

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  5. This was such an amazing post!!! Thanks for sharing this with us.

    http://www.thestylishbipolar.com

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  6. Yes yes yes! I go to stores and try on all of these expensive shoes. Come out with nothing but it certainly puts me in a better mood :)

    Pam xo/ Pam Scalfi♥

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  7. Nice post :)

    *XoXo
    - www.helenaprimeira.blogspot.pt
    - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8FHHl3dT3g
    - https://www.facebook.com/PrimeiraPanos?ref=hl

    ReplyDelete
  8. Love this post<3 thanks for sharing this is so fun to read. You always give the best advice I am in love with the way you write. Do you want to support each other's blog by following each other?:) Please let me know if you do so I can follow you right back x

    kisses

    http://www.theclosetelf.com/

    ReplyDelete
  9. This is such a wonderful up building post! I think confidence is something that can be hard to get but you really gave so many ways to help with this! I really love #19 by staying close to people that love you. Having loved ones around always helps me!

    Rebecca
    www.winnipegstyle.ca

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  10. great post :)
    kisses from dubai ♥
    www.mahryska.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. Great advice! My favourite ones are smile, act it/fake it (if you don't feel it), wear the 'armour' :) xx Maja
    http://majasmuffin.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  12. great tips! every woman should feel confident and beautiful everyday. and it truly makes the world of difference on how you're perceived, and most importantly how you perceive your self!
    http://dayinmydreams.com/

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  13. Great post dear! Loving your tips

    XX

    http://www.floortjeloves.com
    http://www.facebook.com/floortjeloves

    ReplyDelete
  14. Amazing post! I totally agree with that first quote! =D

    NEW POST on http://whattostyle.blogspot.com/

    xoxo,
    Jessica

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  15. Love this… beautiful mind set... you are a winner doll!
    Have a rocking week!
    Borka
    www.chicfashionworld.com

    ReplyDelete
  16. Omg!!! I love your write up , especially the quote. Confidence comes by doing what you love and letting it consume you . GREAT POST !!

    http://www.stylenbeautylounge.com/2015/07/zaful-summer-essentials.html#more

    ReplyDelete
  17. Thank you for sharing this! I think it is always wonderful for young ladies to know we all face insecurities and there are ways to grow from them. What a great list of actions that can be taken. XO, ellese

    http://www.elleseinthecity.com/

    ReplyDelete

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