I couldn’t damn you and I couldn’t stop the dam. The love I have for you was never stationed in shallow attraction. We did our entire relationship backward— challenges first working towards our honeymoon phase. We’re unorthodox, but we built roots able to grow through cement.
You wrapped your limbs through my steel bar fences, growing through what was meant to deter. Loving you was natural, even if you were an invasive species.
With my hand tracing the cold mirror, I realized I was never the only one with thoughts that wouldn’t shut up.
You had struggles I knew nothing about. Fought with thoughts I couldn’t fathom. It was so easy to assume you were the flawless Prince Charming carved in marble, sent by the gods who took pity on my locked away heart.
I was saving you, just as much as you saved me.
Backward wasn’t our intention, we both possessed minds that catastrophize at a hundred miles an hour. While our friends could ignore their thoughts and love wholeheartedly, our thoughts commanded our bodies. Every step we took toward each other healed us and broke us the same.
I was never a brave woman before you. Yet staring into my reflection I was ready to disregard every fear just for one more chance. I was surrounded by sirens going off, storm clouds accumulating, and thoughts screaming. For the first time ever, I didn’t fucking care one bit.
Exerpt from Things You Taught Me & Other Words On Love